Five years ago, I was sure coffee shops are the new McDonald’s. Every mall I’ve been to has at least two Starbucks. Greenbelt’s facade is still lined up with cafés. Teenagers spend their allowances buying frappes and cheesecakes. Buying a cup or two of those overpriced beverages seals a person’s elitist status. According to those people, at least. Fast forward to today and tea shops create the trend. Just like coffee shops years ago, tea shops sprouted everywhere — in shopping malls, in college campuses, along main roads, beside 7-Eleven’s, just everywhere I tell you. And though most of these shops lack creativity in coming up with store names, they are effective in attracting customers, day in, day out. 

To be honest, I’m not a fan of coffee. I love sleeping, and I don’t like anything that prohibits me from doing it. Every time I’m in a coffee shop, it’s either my mom/dad dragged me there, Internet’s unavailable in our house, I’m watching a DLSU-ADMU game, or someone set the shop as a rendezvous point. Or if I’m craving for cheesecake/tiramisu. Point is, I don’t buy coffee to be in the “in” crowd. 

And though I am a big fan of tea and its derivatives, and I’ve visited countless tea shops (Tea.ology, Cha Dao, ChaTime, Gong Cha, Moonleaf, Tea Please, Happy Lemon, Bobba Tea & Jelly, Universitea, Canteana, Serenitea, Seattle’s Best, Bubbatealicious, Bubble Tea, Quickly, and the list goes on and on…), I have the same stand that buying a cup of tea won’t put you above anyone. 

Why am I saying this in the first place? Because I’ve been dubbed “elitist” because I get my tea fix everyday, even going as far as saying it’s hard to be around me because I spend too much on tea. Dafuq. How is that related to socializing? To being friends? I can go a day, week, or even years without tea, how is that a hindrance to befriending me? If it’s my lifestyle, it’s none of your business.

One thing’s clear, things like that don’t dictate your status in society. Next time I’ll go to Tea.ology, I’ll give a homeless man money to buy royal milk tea, with all the sinkers he wants, and in the largest size available. Let’s see how many shallow human beings will relate his presence in a tea shop as something elitist. 

ONE MORE THING, I DON’T GET HOW TEA OR COFFEE IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO SOCIAL CLIMBING. Did the definition of social climbing change in twenty years because I didn’t get the notice.

I’m one of the most socially-inept human being to walk on the face of this planet. Heck, I have a general dislike for any social activity that will require me to leave my bed. Most of my pet peeves involve people I encounter everyday and their undeniably annoying habits. 

Being a commuter, I have to bear with inescapable socialization all the time. Yet, this hasn’t stopped me from following what I presume is some of the wisest words of wisdom I’ve heard. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Probably on top of my pet peeves list is early morning frown, in people on public transportation. It doesn’t ruin my day, to be honest. It’s just that I can’t stand having a frowning person in my view. What do I do? I walk away and think, “hey, maybe this person’s two hours late, he has a reason not to smile.” I’m kinda contradicting myself, right? What I’m saying is people will always have reasons. There’s a reason why I don’t like frowning. There’s a reason for people to frown. There’s a reason for another reason. It’s an untraceable chain of reasons that we should get used to, not throw lopsided judgment just because you think you’re upright.

If someone loves/likes something, who are you to question that? If the feeling’s opposite, let’s say, hate, may it be light or extreme, who are you to judge a person base solely on a person they hate? I know someone who dislikes this other someone who hates this other last someone. Other someone hates last someone because last someone sabotaged other someone’s relationship. Or killed other someone’s puppy. I don’t know. And I don’t want to know. First someone should stay the hell out of that situation. If that’s how thing works for other someone, if that’s how other someone moves on, let her/him be. Everyone moves (forward/on) at his/her own pace. If the first step to letting all other someone’s problems go is harboring all that hatred for that last someone, stay out of it. 

Don’t play god in another person’s game. 

My dad gathered all the medals I got in grade school and had them mounted in a big frame. Those objects behind the glass cover bear witness to my glory days, now serves as our living room’s centerpiece. Most of them I got from math contests. Math was my favorite subject, you know. I even made it to the Nationals, one point away from representing the Philippines in an international math competition. All of that, however, was short-lived. The pressure I got from my teachers was overwhelming, one teacher even threatened to flunk me in science just because I can’t compete in the quiz bee. 

That’s when I decided. I won’t do anything in high school to draw attention from my teachers. I just want to be a normal kid. I’m not saying not achieving anything in high school is by choice. It’s just that I got used to mediocrity. My exams scores were average, I was never on the top of my class, my grades were average. I was in the middle ground, yet I was happy. I was satisfied with where I was. Only in junior year did I actually make an effort to study. Rewarding enough, my efforts got me to UP. 

Sadly, I still have this (or the lack thereof) study habit of not studying. That doesn’t make sense at all, does it? And I’m paying the price. I’m a year behind schedule. I’m supposed to graduate next year. I flunked a subject that costed me an additional year in the university. When my parents learned of this, they were nothing short of supportive to their daughter. They’re just glad I’m in a university they like, enrolled in a degree they like. I’m well aware that they have greater expectations of what I will achieve, they’re just not telling me. 

To be honest, I’m still hopeful I’ll be the daughter they’ll surely be proud of in the future. The first engineer in the family, the first iskolar ng bayan. In two years time, they will be proud of me — their engineer.

In two years time, I will be.

Man, my freedom is short-lived. I just have gotten over him, the last person I had actual feelings for. Everything was bitter work (mostly the two of us ignoring each other’s existence) but it’s all for the best. Haha. And then I was invited to be a godmother to my cousin.

Supposedly, there were five of us (godmothers/ninangs) attending the baptismal of my cousin, but when we arrived, only my uncle’s family and five guys, who are godfathers, were present. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything since I was too tired from the trip (even though the church was near our place hehe). The baptismal ended and of course, individual photos with the baby were taken. 

And that’s when I saw him.

(Edit: I had to pause typing this because ugh I can’t handle all the feelz.)

He was wearing a blue plaid polo, jeans, and Lacoste espadrilles. His eyes were covered with RayBan sunglasses, focusing everything on his slightly rugged chin as he was sporting a 5 o’clock. He wasn’t too tall, five to seven inches taller than I am, I think. 

The guys had their pictures taken first and oh good heavens, he was last in line. That meant having a moment with him while he was passing the baby to me. Being all polite and just plain attractive, he smiled at me. HE’S WEARING BRACES AND THAT MADE HIM EVEN MORE HANDSOME THAN HE ALREADY IS. UGH. 

Things doesn’t end there. When we had to go to the reception, I had to transfer to another car because conveniently, our car was full (my aunt and grandmother insisted they’d go with my mom). I don’t know how but I think the universe is conspiring to get me near that really sexy man because I transferred to his car. FHAJSDAFFKS. I had to pinch myself every left turn as I found it hard to believe that I was breathing the same air as this guy in his red Mazda 6. A fitting car for him, if I may add. 

We didn’t talk though. I just stared at him from a distance, minding every information I could get (I’m creepy, I know). I found out that he is a civil engineer, a colleague of my uncle. They are both based in Petron Bataan Refinery (just a bit of a backstory, I got accepted to an internship there, which of course I had to turn down because of summer class huhuhuhuhu). I’m guessing he’s 5-10 years older than me. I thought to myself, the moment I get home I’ll open my Facebook and won’t sleep until I find this man’s profile. Thanks to my excellent stalking skills, I found him in less than five minutes.

There I found out that he started his own engineering firm at age 25. He’s single and he considers himself blessed to have achieved such thing at a young age. To quote, “I don’t view wealth as something that validates my success, nor view intelligence as something that validates my persona. It is just that, with God’s blessing, I’m now in a position where I’m being surrounded by people who shared the same passion. People who are used to an environment where excellence is expected.” 

AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, I’M GONNA MARRY THIS MAN. I DON’T CARE IF WE’RE YEARS APART. 

Thanks to you, (name deleted), I have set a new standard for the next guys I’ll get attracted to. So, you know, falling for douche bags and airheads won’t be a common thing for me. He will serve as a motivation and inspiration (I HAVE TO WORK AT PETRON EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFETIME) for all the things I will do (I’m serious, he’s already successful as an engineer, add that up to him having irresistible charms). 

So until I find another guy to crush on, let (name deleted) be the person in my dreams. 

I wrote myself a letter exactly a year ago. I didn’t know I sent myself one. Hahaha. Good thing I’m still using the same email. Anyway, here’s the letter. Sorry if it’s in Filipino, I wanted to preserve how I sounded like back then. This letter is definitely one for the keeps. 

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 11 months and 30 days ago, on January 03, 2011. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org

Dear Mich of 2012 (or baka naman may bago ka na naman nickname hahaha),

Kamusta ang 2011? Mas okay ba sa 2010? Kamusta studies? Pinayagan ka ba ng department sa pagkarami-raming waiver? Sana pinayagan ka. Kasi hanggang ngayon, di alam nila Papa na kasabay mo na si Camille grumaduate. Kung hindi man napayagan, sana nasabi mo na sa kanila. Kayang-kaya mo yan. Ano pinagkaiba ng 2013 sa 2014 di ba? :)

—- mas okay ang acads, mas okay pa rin 2010 at di ko pa rin nasasabi @__@ uh-oh DI AKO PINAYAGAN MAGWAIVER T___T

Eh mga kaibigan mo kamusta? Ngayon, 656 friends mo sa Facebook, nadagdagan ba sila? Nakapag-apply ka pa ba sa ibang org? Alam ko plano mo pa rin mag-RCY eh.

— 889 friends and counting :> :> :> MARAMI AKONG NAKILALANG AWESOME PEOPLE SA 2011 :”> Nag-apply at nagdefer ako sa AdCore T___T Nagdefer din ako sa RCY. :)) Nagdefer din sa Eng’g Soc. Pero naging ARISE ako this year. :”>

Kamusta yung ALCHEMES? Pang-ilan kayo sa Eng’g Week? Nanalo ba kayo sa EOEA? :) At kamusta Miss Eng’g? Sino pala naging Miss ALCHEMES 2011? Nagmommy ka pa rin ba?

—- Masaya ang ALCHEMES as always, 8th kami :> Si Donatan ang nag-Miss Engg. And yes, mommy niya ko. :)) Yun lang ginawa ko sa Engg Week sorry. :)) 1st runner up sa EOEA. :<

Musta na classmates at ChE friends mo? Sana wala ng nagshift. Saya kaya sa ChE. >:)

— ChE pa rin lahat ng close and important friends ko na ChE nung 2011 :>

How about the ever awesome MakSci people? Sino-sino na yung graduating? Buo pa rin ba yung tambayan? :)

— Ang dami nila shet. At mamimiss ko sila. T__T Kumakain pa rin kami ng lunch together sa tambayan :)

Yung barkada? Buo pa rin kayo? Natuloy ba ang summer getaway? Bestfriend mo pa rin ba si Leslee?

— Oo naman! Gumala kami nung Christmas! Di natuloy ang summer chuchu. :)) Pero bestfriend ko pa rin si Leslee. :”>

Yung family mo (natin) kamusta na? Saan kayo nagbakasyon for summer? Sembreak? Christmas?

— Bigger!!! And so much happier kahit sa tabi-tabi lang ang getaways ;)

Nakabili ka na ba ng Corgi? Hehe. Mga pets natin kamusta na?

— Pulubi ako ng 2011. Hahaha. Tatlo pa rin pets natin. :)

Hmmm. Kamusta na kayo ni *AHEM*? Kagabi halos ayaw mo na siya maging kaibigan. Di ka bitter alam ko. Pero di mo magets kung bakit siya naging ganun sa ‘yo. Sana ok na kayo. Ang cool kaya ng friendship niyo bago magpasukan (second sem). Kung hindi naman, ayos lang yan. HAHAHA. Mas gwapo ka dun. ;)

— Crush ko pa rin siya. :)) Kabanas. Mas gwapo pa rin ako. :)))))) PERO SERYOSO GUSTO KO PA RIN SIYA. At at at sana di niya ‘to nababasa.

Natupad mo ba yung wag magmura resolution mo? Sana. Alam mo naman na walang nagmumura sa ‘tin. Tsk.

— Sorry old self. :))

May napuntahan ka ba na concerts nung 2011? Deftones? Bruno Mars? Coheed and Cambria? Yellowcard? Dapat napuntahan mo kahit isa lang sa mga yan. Hahaha.

— Local concerts lang. Pulubi talaga eh. :<

May nadagdag ba sa babies mo? Si Yuri kamusta? Nakuha mo na ba uli si Fudge?

— Wala. T___T Si Yuri, sira na battery. Si Fudge, di ko na nakuha ever. T__T

AY KAMUSTA NBA? Sino nagchampion? Tennis? Grabe, sana di ka naging jinx. HAHAHA. :))

— Dallas nagchampion. Magandang year for Djoko. :| At naging jinx ako nang ilang beses demmit. 

O ayan na lang muna, pakabait ka lalo ah. :P Gagawa pa ko ng tula sa MPs 10. Hehehe.

— 1.75 ako sa MPs 10. HAHAHA. 

Nagmamahal, 
Mich from 2011

I’ll write myself another one this weekend. Just to update 2013 Mich with how 2012 went for me. :))

Dahil ‘di ko na mabubuo yung 365 days thing ko, let me number my last post as such. Hihi. 

I started blogging here in Tumblr late December 2009. May nagawa na akong account dati early 2008 pero wala ako magets so I abandoned the account. Hahaha. Since then, ang dami ko na naging friends from Tumblr. Si Mark, AJ, Nicky, Jie, Kuya Theo, Jam, Kuya Jod, Troy, Stephen, Aldren, Thorr, Fross, Ace, Karen, Kaloy, K, among others. I’ve been to two meetups (Diliman Meetup 2010 and White Day 2011) at nastarstruck ako sa mga finafollow ko na nakita ko na (finally!) in person — PLARIDEL OMG, Kath, Aaron, Andy, Bea, Merv, Ate G, Ate Kat, and so many others na nalimot ko na dahil kinilig lang talaga ako na makita sila. HAHA. :)) Yung mga kasabayan ko sa dash lagi, kahit sa dati ko pang blog (na putang ina bakit ko ba dinelete yun) — DJ, Chen, Lara, Iyay, Bangs & James, Sam, Kenneth, Ela, Allen, Cenon, Kevin, Jiriku, Cheska, Kuya Chen, Ate Piya, Julius, at maraming marami din. XD Yung friends ko in real life, you know who you are. Pero special mention kay Adgie, Gundy, Ranel, Karen, Ate Mara, Ate Nat at Ate Lian. 

For a year and God-knows-how-many-months-more, naging outlet ko ang Tumblr sa maraming bagay — problema/good news sa acads, sa family, sa humanity hahaha, at syempre sa lovelife. Basta lahat ng adventures at misadventures. XD Sa mga followers ko simula pa lang dun sa una, siguro natatandaan niyo pa si Johnny Depp (codename nga lang pala). Si Yuki, yung awesomazing dancer. Yung “kapatid” ko sa org na nagustuhan ko. Si Jeric (Miss CIEM). Si Justin. Si Chuck. Yung first love ko na si Leslee. At yung ngayon. (bolded nga pala ang mga talagang nagustuhan ko, yung iba crush lang hahaha). Mas updated pa nga mga followers ko sakin kesa sa friends ko in real life. HAHAHA. Okay ang sama lang. Pati pala pakikipag-away ko. 

Di rin mawawala yung fangirling ko sa lahat. Tinatamad na ko banggitin kasi kung nakikita niyo ko sa dash, alam niyo yun. 

Bakit nga ba ito na ang last? Una sa lahat, medyo napabayaan ko talaga pag-aaral ko dahil dito. SINO BANG HINDI?! Hahaha. Maraming masayang bagay, pero masaya talaga sa tumblr. Dami mo natutunan dito eh. HAHAHA. =)) Kaya kailangan ng focus! Oo, hindi yung ipapapalit ko yung password ko sa kapatid ko, tapos i-foforget password ko naman kapag kinati ako magblog. Haha.

Pangalawa, may time talaga na napuno ka na. Umabot na ko sa limit ko. Hindi totoo na walang limit, meron, kaso sinasabi lang nila na wala para awesome sila pakinggan. HAHA. Hindi sa ayoko na magblog, pero basta kailangan ko ‘to. Drugs na ang tumblr sakin okay. Kaya I have to stop.

Deh, may ayaw lang talaga ko dito. Joke. HAHAHA.

My tumblr experience has been really awesome. Beyond awesome. Legendary. Masaya ako na naisipan ko gumawa ng account dito. Mamimiss ko yung feeling na kiligin dahil sa isang nagfollowback (well matagal na ko nakaget over sa phase na ‘to pero pag si Renz siguro nagfollow sakin, ibang usapan na ‘yun hahaha). Ang thrill ng pakikipag-usap sa mga anonymous. Mga followers ko. Mga finofollow ko. Lahat. Mamimiss ko ang Tumblr. 

Hindi ko idedelete or deactivate ‘to kasi sayang naman. Sobrang nanghinayang ako sa katangahan ko dun sa dati kong blog eh. Hahaha. Who knows, malay niyo bumalik ako some time next year. Or next, next year, kung buhay pa Tumblr. For now, this is goodbye.

Salamat sa lahat. Peace out. (^_^)v

/unnecessary and painstakingly long drama (tinag ko nga pala lahat ng nabanggit ko sorry haha)
/vintagewonderland

I was waiting for a friend a while earlier in KFC when I went through my whole phone inbox, rereading each message (well, skipping the GMs) I didn’t have time to delete. I started with the most recent ones — most of them asking where I was or if am available or if I could do a poster for a certain event — stuff indicating how my orgs are slowly taking over my life lol. Then I came to a point when all the messages were from a single person. That certain person asked me to subscribe to unlimited texting. His first text goes, “Good morning Mich. Please be unli when you wake up. :)” I don’t know, but that made me smile. :) Just reading this old message made me smile, what more when I first read it, immediately after I woke up. Our conversation is nothing special, but I could feel his presence with every text message he sent. Like we were side to side, telling each other’s day-to-day story. “How did your day go?”, “What are you up to?”, and sometimes even random “I miss you”s or a smiley that would make me smile even more. I’m feeling all nostalgic because that’s all part of the past now. We’re not like that anymore. We rarely talk. We say hi to each other but he’s just not there. I don’t know when I started to pick this habit of rereading old conversations off my inbox and message archive. Yes, it does make me feel happy, happy because I realized that I had those kind of moments with certain important people in my life. But somehow, I can’t help but feel that longing for those people. It’s like drugs for the emotionally unstable typical clingy friend. HAHA. You feel high for a moment and then it just spanks me right at the face, reminding me how things got really fucked up.

Whether they will abruptly leave or slowly drift away, at least I have those chitchats to remind me of what was. And that will always overpower the way things ended between us. 

I always miss them/you.

When I speak to someone and I try to be really sarcastic, I usually get the idea that he/she gets me. But then I walk away from the conversation and realizes that that someone doesn’t have the slightest idea that I’m being sarcastic. That or he/she deliberately shoves it off and pretend that it’s nothing. A little bit of both, actually. It just sucks that I’ve been trying so hard to give him/her the message thru sarcasm because (1) saying it directly will cause a fight; and (2) he/she said that he/she speaks sarcasm FLUENTLY. FLUENTLY? Who are you kidding?! You don’t know what sarcasm is. I don’t know if that’s one of your knowledge gaps, but dude, you fail at sarcasm. 

I wish for once, you can be sensitive. You don’t have to take everything literally, because most of the time, there are other meanings lying underneath these words. Meanings that everyone, except you, gets. 

And if you do understand, but you ignore it, let me just say one thing to you. 

I love the way you lie. 

[Disclaimer: I’m not saying that sarcasm = double entendre, I just could relate them in this situation hehe]